Trying Times

This past week or so has been especially difficult for me. If it's not one thing, it's another. Maybe it's because it feels like everything is piling on, but things are upsetting me/annoying me more than they might have at other times. I'd go into more details but several of the things that are causing me a lot of stress and anxiety involve other people and I feel by expressing my thoughts and opinions it would only cause more problems. I try every day to just do my best, be a good person, try and do at least one productive thing...some days are better than others. One problem in particular is beyond frustrating because it is a situation I cannot do anything about. While it may sound like I'm wasting my time worrying about something that I have no control over (trust me, I've told this to myself many times), it is something that means a great deal to me as well as effects me in many aspects of my life. It makes me truly stop and question myself and my life, how I present myself, how I carry myself, how I can come across to people. The problem is that even as I look at myself and find things I can change, nothing I do will or can change the situation. Even doing nothing will not help in any way.

I find myself more easily angered and more depressed. I am more easily annoyed than ever before--in fact many days it just feels like I'm swimming in a pool of ignorance all around me. I suspect this comes from my pent up frustrations and depressed moods, and my job doesn't help. I'd say 60-70% of the people I talk to are rude, or just retarded, or they get angry at me when I'm doing everything in my power to stay calm and friendly. Even nice people who just ask dumb questions bother me. Most everyone will interrupt me, or hang up on me, and some days I can brush it off, but other days it feels like every one is a personal insult. The worst part is knowing I'm crazy. I know that I have all power to not allow things to bother me.

Bah.