Resurrection

I realized it has been a long time since I blogged.  I honestly don't have a specific post in mind but I wanted my select few readers to know I was still thinking of them.

My surgery was successful and I am feeling much better.  Nathan is keeping me on my toes and amazing me every day.  Lots of things are going through my mind lately but nothing of dire consequence.

Highlights of the last 3ish months since I posted:

-We got to spend several days on a few occasions with my sister.  That was AWESOME.  She was a huge help after my surgery and I can't wait for her to visit again.

-We found out we will add another boy to our family around the new year.  I'm pretty stoked about that.  There's a part of me that very much enjoys being the only girl in a family of guys.

-Nathan is still reading but no more than 2, sometimes 3 word phrases.  I'm still proud of him though.  In the meantime, he has an extensive vocal vocabulary, made a seamless transition to toddler bed and a new room, and is even on the brink of potty training.  Oh boy!

-David is still working away in Riverdale.  His hours aren't the best but he is really good at what he does and even received an award for his eSQI (customer satisfaction).  Whoo Hoo!

-We are busy but we miss a lot of our friends and family whom we haven't been able to see recently.  Hopefully that will change soon!!

My Path to the Wizard

This all started back in April when I started having more frequent migraines. I've had migraines for years, starting back in high school, but they've always been manageable. When I did get a migraine, I would take an Excedrin Migraine and it would almost always go away quickly. However, soon after I miscarried on April 1, 2011, I started getting migraines almost every day, some mild, some severe. I let this go on for about two weeks before I made an appointment to see our family physician, Dr. X.

Dr. X took an extensive headache history and was surprised to learn that no doctor had ever done this before. After writing almost an entire page of notes, he told me he wanted to order several tests. Aside from a range of blood tests, he also wanted me to have an MRI and a Cardiac Echo. He explained that during the Echo, the doctor would inject agitated saline into an IV and watch the path of the bubbles on an ultrasound screen. This test would show if my heart had a hole in it or not. I'd never heard of this test before, and I'd never heard of migraines being connected to the heart, but I figured, he's the doc, right?

I had an MRI just a couple days later. Later that same day, Dr. X's office called to tell me the MRI was clear, all they found were some minor nasal polyps that could be cleared up with a nasal spray.
I went back to the same clinic a week or two later for the Echo. I kind of had a feeling that's what it was, so I wasn't very surprised when the test confirmed a hole in my heart. Due to the positive test, the doctor performed another test, this time on my brain. This test is called a TransCranial Doppler test (TCD). A TCD is essentially the same bubble test they performed on my heart, but the ultrasound watches the bubbles that enter my brain and can actually count them.

After the TCD, the doctor told me that the hole is called a PFO (Patent Foramen Ovale) and that it is fairly common. He said mine didn't look severe and that he did not think the PFO was causing or contributing to my migraines. I wasn't really convinced. It just didn't feel right. I posted on Facebook about it later that day and found that a lady in my ward knew a thing or two about PFOs. Not only had she worked at the American Heart Association, but her dad had suffered from a PFO. She told me I should contact her dad's cardiologist, Dr. Y.  She told me he was the best in the country.

I waited to hear from X's office. They called me within a day or two and repeated what they had heard from the doctor who did the tests. Luckily, they felt the same way I did. They told me that Dr. X wanted a second opinion and that he was referring me to a Dr. Y. I thought, "Perfect." Dr. X's office set an appointment for me for June.
Between the time when the appointment was set and the appointment itself, I found out I was pregnant again and was able to see my OB, Dr. Z. She and her nurse encouraged me to keep my appointment with Dr. Y when I told them about the PFO.

So David and I headed to Dr. Y's office. The first thing they did was repeat the bubble test, although I found that for some reason, they know what they're doing better than most who perform the test. They said they actually disprove about 80% of these tests performed by others. This was the case for me as well. The report they had from my first test essentially said I had a minor PFO that wasn't sending many bubbles to my brain. The test at Dr. Y's showed that I actually have a pretty large PFO. The tech used the word "severe" when he looked at the images. What befuddled the tech was that the TCD (the brain bubble test) showed similar results to the first TCD I had. So the two tests were essentially contradicting each other and the poor tech had no clue as to why.

So we waited a little over an hour after that to talk to Dr. Y. When he finally arrived, he was able to give us some more answers. He said that I indeed had a severe PFO, which is actually called a "large shunt" PFO.
The reason the two tests seemed to contradict each other was because I also have what he called a "pocket defect", which essentially means that the flap that covers the hole creates a pocket and can hold some blood in my heart. This is extra dangerous because the held blood can more easily cause a stroke. This is also called an Atrial Septal Aneurysm.

Then he goes on to tell me that the connection between migraines and PFOs is still being researched quite a bit. Although migraines were what pushed me to get tested for the PFO, the real danger was the stroke risk.  The discovery of PFOs has been fairly recent and it is always linked to stroke or stroke risk. They found that many strokes were happening with seemingly no cause, but that a large percentage of these stroke victims had PFOs. After these PFOs were closed, most stroke victims reported improvements.  Dr. Y mentioned that the people who have strokes, usually, are females with PFOs who suffer from migraines. Why, that's me!

Oh yeah, there's more. I also have a genetic clotting disorder that was found after my first miscarriage. This disorder is minor for normal people, but for someone like me who is at an increased risk of stroke, this disorder becomes more of a problem. The fact that I have miscarried twice also put some strikes against me.

Bottom line was that the recommendation was closure of the PFO, but due to my pregnancy, the surgery was not scheduled. Dr. Y told me to come back after the baby was born. He said it is possible to perform the surgery during pregnancy but it can only be done in the second trimester and they don't do it unless they feel it is neccessary. In the meantime, I am to take Heparin injections every 12 hours. The one disclaimer he told me was that if I had any stroke symptoms while I was on the Heparin, everything changes. The surgery would be done during the pregnancy because my risk would be much greater.  I started planning for surgery sometime in the spring or summer of 2012.



These next three images explain the connections between PFO and stroke. They are from a pamphet I received from Dr. Y's office.

As you can tell, I am at an extremely high risk for stroke. Everything was going along as planned until July 3rd. I had started getting a mirgaine in the afternoon but it took awhile to get really bad. Around 6pm or so it was pretty severe and I was just waiting until 10 so I could take my Heparin and go to bed. I was watching a movie with David and David's brother, Job, and Job's wife, Jessie. Right about 10pm, all of a sudden my right arm felt weak and had tingles all over it, similar to how you'd feel after lying on your arm for a long time, but I was lying on my back. I told David and it and he said to just see if it would go away. It moved up my shoulder and eventually started in my leg. It did not go away. I tried calling my dad, mom, and also woke up my sister-in-law (she's an internal medicine doctor) to ask for advice. In the end, David and I decided to go to the hospital. We went to the ER. They took me in right away and eventually did an MRI. The MRI came back clear and they said that what happened was what's called a complicated migraine, which essentially means that my migraine was so intense that it gave me stroke-like symptoms. I found that there was no way for me to tell the difference between this and a real stroke and because of the PFO and my being at such a high risk, I basically had to come to ER every time so they could tell me for sure either way. Joy.

The day after the holiday I called Dr. Y's office to report to them what had happened. They returned the call a couple days later and told me that Dr. Y had decided to go ahead and move forward with my closure. They asked how far along I was (almost 13 weeks at the time) and wanted the schedule the surgery for the first week of August. I told them I'd be out of town until the 7th, so they scheduled surgery for August 9th, a Tuesday. And so, ladies and gentleman, I will finally reach the wizard, and he'll be able to give me a much healthier version of my heart.

I hope this helped you better understand PFOs and what's been going on in my life recently.

Good Riddance

I quit my job today. Despite the fact that a move like that could or should bring about some amount of nervousness or fear, I am amazingly relieved.

Simple Pleasures

Last week, David and I took Nate to the park and flew his kite for the first time. It was one of those moments in life where you realize that it's those times where you're with your family doing something simple, together, that time stands still for just a second and you're able to just be grateful for what God has given you.

Yep...Again.

Yesterday was not the day I was hoping for. To be honest, I can't say I was surprised, but it was still difficult. We were hoping to go public soon and announce that our family was growing, but alas, the Lord has other plans. I officially miscarried at 6 weeks, although I didn't find out officially until yesterday (8 weeks). The reason I wasn't surprised it because I knew it was a very strong possibility, but I was just hoping that it wouldn't be the case. I am sad, but compared to the last time, I feel much more at peace. It isn't as traumatizing to me, even though it still hurts just as much. I think I'm more patient this time, too. Last time, all the comments from people who had no idea what to say were just making everything worse, but this time I can feel their good intentions more easily. It helps that I can feel more loved instead of just being angry.

In the end, I know that this was the Lord's plan. I feel calm because I know that His plan is superior to mine and if this isn't the right time for another child to join our family, then it isn't time. The time will come, of that I feel assured. Having Nate around reminds me that the Lord knows what He is doing and that if I can trust Him then I will find happiness. I find myself appreciating Nathan so much more recently. I just look at him and almost cry because I love him so much and I'm so proud of him. I can't wait for him to have brothers and sisters to play with! He's getting ready for nursery and I'm so excited to see him have the opportunity to be around other kids his age. I think the interaction will be so good for him - I think it will help a lot for him to learn more about sharing and patience. I always say he amazes me all the time with what he's learning - and it's so true. I love being able to share his accomplishments with my family and close friends, also, because I know they are as proud as I am. I love knowing my little boy has the best aunts, uncles, grandparents, and great-grandparents anyone could ask for! Ah, I'm starting to sound like such a mush....I guess losing this baby has just really helped me focus on what's most important to me. I feel so lucky to have the family I have - they make me smile every day, even when it's really hard to.

In other news, my sister is moving closer!! She was accepted into this amazing grad school program at the University of Montana and will be studying there starting in August. Missoula is only 8 hours away and I am beyond stoked!! David and I are already planning a visit. I'm so excited to have someone from my side of the family living so close...even if it's only temporary. I love my sister!!

Future Heartbreaker

I can't help it - I find this face completely irresistible.

We had a photographer friend take pictures of Nathan for Easter. We hadn't had any professional pictures of him taken before and the price was reasonable. I was pretty happy with the results. I wish there were more with this love-able grin but, alas, my boy has a mind of his own. In other news, Nathan is learning to read! I know it sounds crazy, but we've been using the Your Baby Can Read program with him since he was 2 1/2 months old and he's finally old enough to verbalize some of the results. We work with flashcards just about every day, and of course he has his books and videos. Right now when we use the flashcards, if he's not too distracted or irritated (this is not as common as I'd like!), he can read out loud "happy", "baby", "nose", and "teeth" with the occasional "bike" and "tap". He can also read "arms up" and "clap" but he won't say them - he just does the action. We've been working on locating his body parts, too. Most of them he can do but he has trouble with some. Because he learned to say "nose" he refuses to point to his nose if you say "nose" - he just repeats after you. Same goes with "teeth" and "cheeks". It's fun to watch him learn, though. He amazes me every day with how smart he is. I know people will be skeptical about his reading skills, but I'm looking forward to blowing them away when my 3-year-old can read his own primary talk. He's entering the parrot phase, although he's still at the early stages, thank goodness. David has been teasing him since he was born and now my sweet little boy goes around saying "ha ha!" and then laughing hysterically. He certainly brings a smile to my face every single day!! He is the greatest blessing anyone could ask for. I hope all moms find as much joy in their kids as I do in mine. :)

You Know What I Think?

I think I'm ready to be done with sickness. Too much sickness has been in my house the last week or so. I'm thinking it's about time for it to leave.

However, I have a good feeling. This year is going to be..........

EPIC.

Bruises, Pain, and Triumph

Last Thursday I was holding Nate and heading down the stairs to put my shoes on. My socks slipped on the carpet and my feet went out from under me. I put my elbow out in an effort to keep Nate from hitting the stairs and managed to keep my own head from hitting the stairs. Whoo! However, I did land on, and subsequently bruise, my tail bone. Unfortunately, this is not my first tail bone injury, but they are by far the most unpleasant thing when you work a job like mine where you sit for six hours at a time. Joy. I've been trying to take it easy and yet I didn't want to stop working out because I'd been doing so well. Needless to say my workouts have been slightly less flexible, but I'm glad I didn't give up. Sitting hurts worse than standing and the action of sitting/standing hurts the worst. Everything else is kind of low key. I'm taking pain medication also as needed. Pray for a speedy recovery!

In awesome news, I have been on my "eat better and work out" kick for 3 weeks now and I've lost a total of 7.5 pounds! Here's to being another 2.5 pounds lighter by my birthday!! I feel awesome!

How to Make Spritz Cookies

Around the holidays, spritz cookies are my absolute favorite treat. This past Christmas I wasn't in Ohio for the first time in my life during the holidays, so I had to make my own spritz cookies. I borrowed a spritzer from my neighbor and they turned out great! I posted somewhere (Facebook, maybe?) a picture of my Christmas spritz cookies and my brother mentioned I should explain how to make them, so I made them again for a friend's birthday, and this time, I took pictures. Enjoy!

Grandma's Spritz Cookies

1 Cup Butter, Softened

1 Cup Powdered Sugar

1 Egg

1 teaspoon Vanilla

1/2 teaspoon Almond Extract

2 1/3 Cups Flour

1/2 teaspoon Salt

Food Coloring of Choice

Sprinkles of Choice

You can use any butter or butter substitute you would like; in fact if you're looking to cut calories, I would recommend something less fattening.

However if you're looking for optimum taste, go with Salted Sweet Cream Butter.

I only use this for baking, but I notice a difference in my cookies. Oh, and a word about softened butter: I read that it is important that you do not over-soften your butter. If the recipe, like this one, calls for softened butter, the best option is to leave it out overnight. Try to avoid microwaving it if possible because it is easy to melt. The consistency of the cookies can be compromised if the butter is too hard or too soft. Learn something new every day!

The first thing you need to do is cream together the butter with the powdered sugar. It's best to use an electric mixer for this. After the butter and sugar are well blended, add the egg, vanilla, and almond extract. It should look like this:

Then I take this opportunity to add whatever food coloring I'd like. For this batch I chose blue, mostly because during the holidays I almost always use red and green. The blue turned out pretty, but it was more turquoise. You can add the food coloring later, but I find it easier to mix if it's added before the flour.

The next thing you want to do is add the flour and salt. You can continue to use the electric mixer, but this might be more easy done with a wooden spoon or something along those lines. When you're finished, your dough should look like this:

Here's where you need to have your spritzer. If you don't have one already, you can get one anywhere where cake supplies are sold. I saw them at Michael's the other day, although they look a lot newer and nicer than the old ones I've always used.

The one my grandma has is an old, metal, hand crank kind! Anyway, follow the directions on your spritzer to make sure it's put together correctly and you have the desired tip connected to the end. This particular spritzer is electric. After its all put together, load it with dough as directed. A side note: If you would like to make the dough ahead of time, this is a great time saver, especially during the holidays when you may be really busy the day you plan to bake. Store

the dough in the refrigerator, but make sure you take the dough out the night before or the morning you plan to bake. The dough MUST be soft before you load it into the spritzer!!

Put the bottom of the spritzer on an ungreased cookie sheet and pull trigger or pump the hand

pump until the desired amount of dough is released. This may take some trial and error at first as you won't be able to see how much dough is coming out without picking the spritzer up to look. Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it quickly! Fill the cookie sheet with cookies. Sprinkle a complimentary colored sugar over the cookies.

Bake at 400 degrees for 6-8 minutes or until the bottom of the cookie just starts to brown. The cookies will be soft! Let cool for about 5 minutes before using a spatula to remove cookies.

Enjoy the finished cookies! They will go fast!

Go You Chicken Fat, Go Away

So I didn't want to say anything right away, but I figured it's time to spill the beans. That dreaded four letter word...you know the one I mean...diet. I have never really been a big fan of diets, especially weird fad diets like Atkins or South Beach or anything like that. The idea of points and counting keeps me from trying something like Weight Watchers, but I've become more and more unhappy with my weight. I decided around New Years that I wanted to lose weight, but I knew if that was my focus I would fail like I always have before. So I decided I just wanted to get healthier. I figured if I could just change my eating and exercise habits a little tiny bit and start making healthier choices, then I could go from there. I decided to start small so that I wouldn't get totally burned out and lose my motivation before I even got anywhere.

Through the month of January I just tried to use my Wii Fit for ten minutes a day at least 5 days a week. I knew it wouldn't do a lot, but I just wanted to start a habit of being more active. Up to that point I really wasn't doing much activity aside from housework. My job actually encourages inactivity because I just sit there for 6 hours at a time. Aside from an illness in the second week, I did pretty well. I think I was able to hit my "workouts" at least 20 out of 28 days (I started on Jan. 3). So far so good, but I wasn't losing weight, so now it was time to eat better.

I decided I was going to use the month of February to "diet", just as a way to lose some initial weight and get motivated to work out more and make better eating choices. I have started a modified version of the "Special K Challenge" and so far it is awesome! I starting eating Special K cereal with skim milk for breakfast most days, and supplementing some lunches and the occasional breakfast with Special K Protein Shakes and Protein Bars. Other times I eat salad or a can of Progresso soup for lunch. For snacks I eat low fat yogurt, low fat string cheese, a Special K cereal bar, or fruits and veggies. For dinner I still eat all the normal things I've always eaten, I just eat smaller portions and I try to include more fresh veggies. I've cut out soda (for now...I don't think I could cut it out forever!) and basically just try to stick to water most of the time. When I was pregnant I received a large water jug from the hospital that holds 32 oz. I fill that with filtered water (the tap water is seriously gross here!) and try to drink at least one a day, although a few times I've been able to drink 1 1/2. I should be able to drink 2 a day, but right now I just can't drink that much. I also write down everything I eat. A piece of chocolate cake here and there won't hurt, but if I write it down it helps me keep track of what I'm consuming. I also bought some Weight Watchers Strawberry Smoothie bars for desserts....those are actually amazingly good! Love. On top of that, I have bumped my Wii Fit workouts up to 30 minutes a day.

I realize I have only been doing this for 1 week, but I am happy to report that it is working! I have been diligent in paying more attention to what I'm putting in my body and I am very excited with how I feel. I have only lost 3.7 lbs so far, but I feel better, too. I have more energy and I've suddenly found myself wanting to work out. That has NEVER happened before. Now I'm hoping that I can expand my workouts to include other cardio and aerobics exercises. I would love to find a good dance workout but I want to try something before I buy it. I've heard good things about Zumba and I'm trying to borrow "Just Dance" from a neighbor (her kids lost it!). Hopefully I can try one or both of those and then add them to my collection if I like them. I've also found that by eating smaller portions more frequently, I've lost my "snack happy" mentality. I used to feel hungry almost all the time and would snack pretty frequently. Now I'm happy just having a little something every few hours. I don't feel like I have to keep eating and eating until I'm full. This is a totally new concept to me, but I love it.

I told myself I wanted to lose 10 lbs by my birthday. If I achieve this goal, I'm rewarding myself with a new pair of jeans! After that I will make another goal and go from there. Ideally I want to get down to a healthy weight and BMI so that I can eat what I want but still be a healthy because I know how to control my eating and portions. I could never go through life without pizza, burgers, fries, cheesecake, alfredo sauce, and all those wonderful things, but if I can teach myself how to manage my intake and stay active, I won't have to.

I also have a great Facebook group for support. If you read this and would like to offer support, I would greatly appreciate it!!

You Know What?

Sometimes I feel like every time I open my mouth it's just a big mistake and the word would be better off if I just kept it shut.

Sick of Sickness

I am most ready to be finished with the sickness that has plagued me this past week. It started as a sore throat last Sunday. That, combined with my absolute lack of sleep based on my new work schedule forced David to put his foot down and keep me home from church. While the sleep was nice, it didn't make my throat feel any better and so I called off work that night. The next day I tried to rest all day and I sucked on cough drops but nothing got rid of the scratchy-ness. No work again. Tuesday I could tell improvement and figured this sickness thing was headed on out. I planned a big going away party but it was crashed by sore throat's mean horrible friends, sinus congestion and runny nose. Headache and nausea also made brief appearances. Wednesday was by far the worst day as I had that blocked nose feeling you get when your nose isn't stuffy (because you blow it and nothing comes out) but you can't breathe out of your nose. I guess the nasal passages are "inflammed" unless that commercial for that one medicine was lying...you know which one I mean. Anyway, I sent David to find more medicine as I realized most of the medicine in my bathroom has expiration dates from 2008 (oops...) and the pharmasist gave him sudafed. Luckily it did the trick and I could breathe on Thursday, but ever since then it's been a constant gross fest of coughing up mucus, blowing my nose, and mostly just trying to get myself better without getting the rest of my family sick (is that possible??). So far Nate seems OK...I hope it stays that way. It would certainly make me feel better about the $25 co-pay I had to pay to get the second flu shot for him since his Medicaid ran out the week before we got home from Ohio and I could get him in to the doctor. How is it that they can charge the co-pay when I don't even SEE the doctor?? That is a crime. Bah Humbug. ANYWAY..........now that you have too many details than you wanted...

Church tomorrow. I must attend. I need to catch up on my Relief Society duties. I fell behind from being sick all week. It's almost 2am, which means I can go to bed in approximately 1 hour. I will be able to sleep approximately 4 hours before I have to work one for 30 minute shift. Then I have just less than an hour to get ready for church. Busy Busy Busy.

Just a quick note from a call I just finished: This elderly woman is calling for a product that is clearly advertised as an EYE SERUM. After spending ten minutes convincing her to order the autoshipment program, I get her credit card number and she starts asking more random questions. At this point she realizes that the product is designed for the EYES (wow, what was the tip off??) and decides that she doesn't want it after all. This doesn't really surprise me. I've talked to plenty of elderly people who just don't have the mind they used to have and misunderstand things all the time. What gets me is she says "I don't like to try things unless I know they're going to work. Especially on my face." Really? How would you know that they work or will work if you don't TRY THEM??? I actually said something along the lines of "Wow, that's impressive. Usually when I want to know if something will work I have to try it first." She didn't even catch on. Oh. My. Goodness. This job never ceases to amaze me.

Here's to a more productive week...and no more sickness!!!

New Years Resolutions

So it's a new year and I decided there were some things I wanted to improve in my life. (As I type this Nathan is trying desperately to open a box of truffles...one sec...) ANYWAY, I made a list of the things I wanted to change but nothing else. Yesterday there was a great lesson in Relief Society based on a talk by Julie B. Beck. In the talk, Sister Beck talked about priorities. She classifies them into three categories: essential, necessary, and nice to do. Essential things were things like personal revelation, attending the temple, reading scriptures, prayer, family home evening, etc. Necessary things were things like taking care of your family, cooking meals, cleaning house, teaching children the gospel, etc. Then of course the nice to do things - reading, crafts, going out with friends, etc. The visual was used where there are large rocks and small rocks and if you put the small rocks in first then only a couple of the big rocks fit, but if you put the big rocks in first, then everything fits. Our Relief Society President was teaching the lesson and she used a large ball for the essential because there aren't that many things. Then she had three slightly smaller balls for the necessary things, and popcorn kernels for the nice to do things. I've seen it before, but for some reason it resonated with me this time. One thing on the necessary list stood out to me: Being happy and positive around your family. A sister shared her testimony about this exact thing because he 7 year old apparently told her husband he doesn't like talking to his parents because he thinks they are always angry with him or unhappy. That scared me a little because I know I don't really watch myself around Nathan and I don't want him to be afraid or nervous about talking to me. So that is one thing I am going to work on this year.

As far as priorities go, I think I have them straight in my head, but my actions don't always agree. I am going to make a conscious effort to make choices that reflect my priorities, namely to put God first, then myself, then my husband, my children, my other family members, and everyone else. I am a fairly visual person, so I typed up a schedule for myself to help me fit everything I need into my day. I decided to schedule in a little time to use my Wii Fit, just so I can stay active and start on the road to a healthier lifestyle. I also scheduled reading and playing time with Nathan because I haven't been as diligent as I'd like on that front. It's so cliche, but he is growing so fast and I want to be able to teach him and hopefully instill a love for reading. I know that will be especially important when it comes to school work. I also scheduled time to play with Daisy. I want to be able to give her at least some attention on a daily basis. I want to be able to help better train her as well so we can get to a point where she doesn't have to be tied up all day. I also scheduled family prayer, scripture study, and Family Home Evening. FHE has been difficult because I feel like we spend time as a family almost every day, but we had FHE with some friends of ours and their son is several months younger than Nathan but they still do a 2-3 minute lesson from the Nursery manual. I think that is a great idea, so we are going to adopt that idea. I think it is more important to start the habit than anything else. David and I have been good about reading our scriptures together. The scripture chart I made last April has served us well and I have successfully read every day for the last 8 months (give or take a day). I do want to start including Nathan, though, so the habit is starting there for him as well. We have been less diligent about family prayer, but I want to start teaching Nathan how to pray as well. He can't talk yet, but again, I think it's about having the habit.

There have been some family issues that have been bothering me of late, and I have been struggling with them more than I would like to admit. I have been praying daily for insight on what the right thing to do is because nothing feels right. I know that the only thing I have control over is myself and how I handle these situations as they arise, but for the most part I feel like I have been doing the very best I can and handling the situations in a way that I am proud of and don't regret. In the end, I want to be able to stand before God and tell him that I did my best to do what He wanted me to do. That's the only thing that really matters. Last night I felt that my time would be better spent worrying about my son and taking care of him and that these other things that are bothering me are things that I can relax about because I will know what to do as situations arise. So that's what I intend to do. First things first, I am a daughter of a loving and caring Heavenly Father. After that I am a wife to the most incredible husband, and third I am a mommy to an adorable little boy. Being a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, or a friend will all come naturally if I keep everything else in order.

Happy New Year, Everyone. May your 2011 be everything you want it to be.