Ry Guy

I love this kid.  I fail on the "blog about my second kid's birth like I did for my first" front, but he's adorable and hopefully forgives me anyway.  :)

Ellen and JCP

In general, I don't make public comments about anything related to politics.  I find that my opinions are molded by my mostly conservative values and tend to put me in situations that just breed arguments, so I usually just keep my political opinions to myself.  This is especially true with controversial topics.  I usually have pretty strong opinions about these topics but I don't feel the need to convince everyone to think the way I do, so like I said before, I don't usually throw in my two cents on political issues.

Today is a new day, though, and I have something I want to say.  JC Penney department stores recently named Ellen Degeneres as their new spokesperson.  Because Ellen is openly gay, a conservative group called "One Million Moms" threw a fit and told JCP they should fire Ellen or risk losing lots of customers who wouldn't continue to shop at a store associated with a lesbian.  This just makes me want to roll my eyes and scream at the same time.

Let me be clear:  I am a conservative wife and mother who is also a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS).  I believe in traditional values and I do NOT support gay/lesbian relationships or marriages.  However, I do not see what that has to do with how people who consider themselves gay or lesbian are to be treated.  I happen to have a strong belief in the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman; I also happen to believe that every human being has a god given agency that allows them control over their own bodies - physically and emotionally.  Due to this agency, I believe that we all have the ability to choose how we feel, how we react, and yes, who we love.  It doesn't make sense that God would command us to love if we had no control over who we could or could not love.  Basically, I do not believe that people are "born" gay; I believe that same sex attractions are feelings that some people struggle with and people make a conscious choice to act on those feelings.  These people convince themselves that they cannot control their own feelings because it is so difficult and they don't want to believe that such strong feelings are controllable.  That being said, people who choose a gay or lesbian lifestyle are still people.  They are still my brothers and sisters and I don't think that they should lose any of their basic rights just because of their lifestyle choices.  (For those who wonder how I can say that and still not support gay marriage - I completely support every single person's right to get married - to ONE person of the OPPOSITE sex.)

So what this comes down to is that I think it is completely ridiculous that anyone should call for Ellen to get fired simply because of her choice to be a lesbian.  Do I support her personal choices?  No, I don't, but I do think she is super hilarious, smart, and talented.  She has proven herself as an actress and comedian.  JCP cites her significant fan base, which proves she is popular with a large range of people.  JCP was smart to use a well liked spokesperson and it makes my blood boil that people want to discriminate against her because she chooses to live a lifestyle they don't approve of.  That is exactly the same as someone saying that I should lose my job or be denied a basic right just because I am Mormon (LDS).  You can disagree with someone's choices without mistreating them as human beings.  Everyone should be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of their personal decisions or sins or whatever.  I support JCP and Ellen and I am ashamed that people would so openly discriminate and mistreat in the name of traditional values.    

Resurrection

I realized it has been a long time since I blogged.  I honestly don't have a specific post in mind but I wanted my select few readers to know I was still thinking of them.

My surgery was successful and I am feeling much better.  Nathan is keeping me on my toes and amazing me every day.  Lots of things are going through my mind lately but nothing of dire consequence.

Highlights of the last 3ish months since I posted:

-We got to spend several days on a few occasions with my sister.  That was AWESOME.  She was a huge help after my surgery and I can't wait for her to visit again.

-We found out we will add another boy to our family around the new year.  I'm pretty stoked about that.  There's a part of me that very much enjoys being the only girl in a family of guys.

-Nathan is still reading but no more than 2, sometimes 3 word phrases.  I'm still proud of him though.  In the meantime, he has an extensive vocal vocabulary, made a seamless transition to toddler bed and a new room, and is even on the brink of potty training.  Oh boy!

-David is still working away in Riverdale.  His hours aren't the best but he is really good at what he does and even received an award for his eSQI (customer satisfaction).  Whoo Hoo!

-We are busy but we miss a lot of our friends and family whom we haven't been able to see recently.  Hopefully that will change soon!!

My Path to the Wizard

This all started back in April when I started having more frequent migraines. I've had migraines for years, starting back in high school, but they've always been manageable. When I did get a migraine, I would take an Excedrin Migraine and it would almost always go away quickly. However, soon after I miscarried on April 1, 2011, I started getting migraines almost every day, some mild, some severe. I let this go on for about two weeks before I made an appointment to see our family physician, Dr. X.

Dr. X took an extensive headache history and was surprised to learn that no doctor had ever done this before. After writing almost an entire page of notes, he told me he wanted to order several tests. Aside from a range of blood tests, he also wanted me to have an MRI and a Cardiac Echo. He explained that during the Echo, the doctor would inject agitated saline into an IV and watch the path of the bubbles on an ultrasound screen. This test would show if my heart had a hole in it or not. I'd never heard of this test before, and I'd never heard of migraines being connected to the heart, but I figured, he's the doc, right?

I had an MRI just a couple days later. Later that same day, Dr. X's office called to tell me the MRI was clear, all they found were some minor nasal polyps that could be cleared up with a nasal spray.
I went back to the same clinic a week or two later for the Echo. I kind of had a feeling that's what it was, so I wasn't very surprised when the test confirmed a hole in my heart. Due to the positive test, the doctor performed another test, this time on my brain. This test is called a TransCranial Doppler test (TCD). A TCD is essentially the same bubble test they performed on my heart, but the ultrasound watches the bubbles that enter my brain and can actually count them.

After the TCD, the doctor told me that the hole is called a PFO (Patent Foramen Ovale) and that it is fairly common. He said mine didn't look severe and that he did not think the PFO was causing or contributing to my migraines. I wasn't really convinced. It just didn't feel right. I posted on Facebook about it later that day and found that a lady in my ward knew a thing or two about PFOs. Not only had she worked at the American Heart Association, but her dad had suffered from a PFO. She told me I should contact her dad's cardiologist, Dr. Y.  She told me he was the best in the country.

I waited to hear from X's office. They called me within a day or two and repeated what they had heard from the doctor who did the tests. Luckily, they felt the same way I did. They told me that Dr. X wanted a second opinion and that he was referring me to a Dr. Y. I thought, "Perfect." Dr. X's office set an appointment for me for June.
Between the time when the appointment was set and the appointment itself, I found out I was pregnant again and was able to see my OB, Dr. Z. She and her nurse encouraged me to keep my appointment with Dr. Y when I told them about the PFO.

So David and I headed to Dr. Y's office. The first thing they did was repeat the bubble test, although I found that for some reason, they know what they're doing better than most who perform the test. They said they actually disprove about 80% of these tests performed by others. This was the case for me as well. The report they had from my first test essentially said I had a minor PFO that wasn't sending many bubbles to my brain. The test at Dr. Y's showed that I actually have a pretty large PFO. The tech used the word "severe" when he looked at the images. What befuddled the tech was that the TCD (the brain bubble test) showed similar results to the first TCD I had. So the two tests were essentially contradicting each other and the poor tech had no clue as to why.

So we waited a little over an hour after that to talk to Dr. Y. When he finally arrived, he was able to give us some more answers. He said that I indeed had a severe PFO, which is actually called a "large shunt" PFO.
The reason the two tests seemed to contradict each other was because I also have what he called a "pocket defect", which essentially means that the flap that covers the hole creates a pocket and can hold some blood in my heart. This is extra dangerous because the held blood can more easily cause a stroke. This is also called an Atrial Septal Aneurysm.

Then he goes on to tell me that the connection between migraines and PFOs is still being researched quite a bit. Although migraines were what pushed me to get tested for the PFO, the real danger was the stroke risk.  The discovery of PFOs has been fairly recent and it is always linked to stroke or stroke risk. They found that many strokes were happening with seemingly no cause, but that a large percentage of these stroke victims had PFOs. After these PFOs were closed, most stroke victims reported improvements.  Dr. Y mentioned that the people who have strokes, usually, are females with PFOs who suffer from migraines. Why, that's me!

Oh yeah, there's more. I also have a genetic clotting disorder that was found after my first miscarriage. This disorder is minor for normal people, but for someone like me who is at an increased risk of stroke, this disorder becomes more of a problem. The fact that I have miscarried twice also put some strikes against me.

Bottom line was that the recommendation was closure of the PFO, but due to my pregnancy, the surgery was not scheduled. Dr. Y told me to come back after the baby was born. He said it is possible to perform the surgery during pregnancy but it can only be done in the second trimester and they don't do it unless they feel it is neccessary. In the meantime, I am to take Heparin injections every 12 hours. The one disclaimer he told me was that if I had any stroke symptoms while I was on the Heparin, everything changes. The surgery would be done during the pregnancy because my risk would be much greater.  I started planning for surgery sometime in the spring or summer of 2012.



These next three images explain the connections between PFO and stroke. They are from a pamphet I received from Dr. Y's office.

As you can tell, I am at an extremely high risk for stroke. Everything was going along as planned until July 3rd. I had started getting a mirgaine in the afternoon but it took awhile to get really bad. Around 6pm or so it was pretty severe and I was just waiting until 10 so I could take my Heparin and go to bed. I was watching a movie with David and David's brother, Job, and Job's wife, Jessie. Right about 10pm, all of a sudden my right arm felt weak and had tingles all over it, similar to how you'd feel after lying on your arm for a long time, but I was lying on my back. I told David and it and he said to just see if it would go away. It moved up my shoulder and eventually started in my leg. It did not go away. I tried calling my dad, mom, and also woke up my sister-in-law (she's an internal medicine doctor) to ask for advice. In the end, David and I decided to go to the hospital. We went to the ER. They took me in right away and eventually did an MRI. The MRI came back clear and they said that what happened was what's called a complicated migraine, which essentially means that my migraine was so intense that it gave me stroke-like symptoms. I found that there was no way for me to tell the difference between this and a real stroke and because of the PFO and my being at such a high risk, I basically had to come to ER every time so they could tell me for sure either way. Joy.

The day after the holiday I called Dr. Y's office to report to them what had happened. They returned the call a couple days later and told me that Dr. Y had decided to go ahead and move forward with my closure. They asked how far along I was (almost 13 weeks at the time) and wanted the schedule the surgery for the first week of August. I told them I'd be out of town until the 7th, so they scheduled surgery for August 9th, a Tuesday. And so, ladies and gentleman, I will finally reach the wizard, and he'll be able to give me a much healthier version of my heart.

I hope this helped you better understand PFOs and what's been going on in my life recently.

Good Riddance

I quit my job today. Despite the fact that a move like that could or should bring about some amount of nervousness or fear, I am amazingly relieved.

Simple Pleasures

Last week, David and I took Nate to the park and flew his kite for the first time. It was one of those moments in life where you realize that it's those times where you're with your family doing something simple, together, that time stands still for just a second and you're able to just be grateful for what God has given you.

Yep...Again.

Yesterday was not the day I was hoping for. To be honest, I can't say I was surprised, but it was still difficult. We were hoping to go public soon and announce that our family was growing, but alas, the Lord has other plans. I officially miscarried at 6 weeks, although I didn't find out officially until yesterday (8 weeks). The reason I wasn't surprised it because I knew it was a very strong possibility, but I was just hoping that it wouldn't be the case. I am sad, but compared to the last time, I feel much more at peace. It isn't as traumatizing to me, even though it still hurts just as much. I think I'm more patient this time, too. Last time, all the comments from people who had no idea what to say were just making everything worse, but this time I can feel their good intentions more easily. It helps that I can feel more loved instead of just being angry.

In the end, I know that this was the Lord's plan. I feel calm because I know that His plan is superior to mine and if this isn't the right time for another child to join our family, then it isn't time. The time will come, of that I feel assured. Having Nate around reminds me that the Lord knows what He is doing and that if I can trust Him then I will find happiness. I find myself appreciating Nathan so much more recently. I just look at him and almost cry because I love him so much and I'm so proud of him. I can't wait for him to have brothers and sisters to play with! He's getting ready for nursery and I'm so excited to see him have the opportunity to be around other kids his age. I think the interaction will be so good for him - I think it will help a lot for him to learn more about sharing and patience. I always say he amazes me all the time with what he's learning - and it's so true. I love being able to share his accomplishments with my family and close friends, also, because I know they are as proud as I am. I love knowing my little boy has the best aunts, uncles, grandparents, and great-grandparents anyone could ask for! Ah, I'm starting to sound like such a mush....I guess losing this baby has just really helped me focus on what's most important to me. I feel so lucky to have the family I have - they make me smile every day, even when it's really hard to.

In other news, my sister is moving closer!! She was accepted into this amazing grad school program at the University of Montana and will be studying there starting in August. Missoula is only 8 hours away and I am beyond stoked!! David and I are already planning a visit. I'm so excited to have someone from my side of the family living so close...even if it's only temporary. I love my sister!!