Graduation 2008

Before I start explaining all this graduation stuff I am going to make a list of names so those who are not familiar with this part of my family can follow along (hopefully). Here goes:

Brenda = my mom's sister

Rick = Brenda's husband

Celeste = Rick and Brenda's oldest daughter; has a twin brother named Ben; age 22

Derek = Celete's boyfriend; age 26 (almost 27)

Angela = Next oldest daughter of Rick and Brenda; age 19

Matt = Angela's husband; married 7 months; age 25

Cam/Cameron = Youngest child of Rick and Brenda; recent high school graduate; age 18

OK, so last night was Cam's graduatioin from Viewmont High School. It was held at the Dee Events Center in Ogden, Utah (part of Weber State University). All of the previously listed people were in attendance. It was a little different than other high school graduations in that the school did not ask the audience to withold their applause until the end...so EVERY single graduate (all 400+ of them) got applause after their name was read. Needless to say, I only clapped for two (Cam and his girlfriend, Brittany, whom I have never met). Also, instead of a band there was an organ...which played Disney songs as prelude and I found I was not mistaken when I heard "My Heart Will Go On" (from Titanic) during the reading of names. HA. HA. HA.

The above picture is of the graduating class. Like my high school, the students' names were read boy-girl-boy-girl, except instead of seating them this way, they sat the girls on one side and the boys on the other. The side closest to us was the boys. The grads on the stand were in the concert choir. Another odd thing was that the grads were not seated alphabetically. It was purely random; they just carried cards with their names on them that were read when they got to the front. I guess it works but I still thought it was funny.

Oh, and their diploma covers were metallic gold. I was almost blinded by some kid who was mesmerized by it.

This picture on the right is the proud parents; Rick and Brenda with Cam.

The next picture is the whole family (minus Ben,, who lives in Boise). Celeste is on the far left and Angela is between Cam and Rick.

Sisters

Cousins

Afterwards we went to Denny's ("Kids! Git in the cah; we're goin' to Denny's!"). Matt, the engineer, made this lovely toothpick/fork/salt shaker display.

Overall it was pretty fun. I was stuffed though.

Amusement

So Saturday we went to Lagoon with Nick and Chelsea. Coming from Ohio, it is hard to go to ANY theme/amusement park and not compare it to Cedar Point. Although Cedar Point is owned by Cedar Fair, the same company that ran Geauga Lake into the ground *insert sad face here*, I am always up for a thrill, especially when it involves rollercoasters, and Cedar Point is the "rollercoaster capital of the world." SO...when it comes to rollercoasters, Cedar Point is still #1 in my book, but alas, I now live thousands of miles away. Lagoon is pretty much the only amusement park in the state and probably most the states bordering Utah. I know there are some great ones in California, so I hear, but that's a bit of a drive. All things considered, we're pretty lucky to live as close as we do to Lagoon (even though we're not as close to my mom's sister, Brenda, and her family). So anyway, I love amusement parks no matter what (even if they are weak compared to CP in terms of a thrill) and Lagoon has a special place in my heart because it is there that I officially lost my fear of rollercoasters, permanently. So anyway, we went on Saturday and because we live so close we decided to spring for season passes (they're called "season passports" here) so that we could come and go as we please and not have to worry about finding a time when we could spend the whole day in order to get our money's worth. Besides, with David's work schedule we'd only be able to go Saturdays and those are the busiest times. This way we can spend evenings or just go for a bit on Saturdays and leave whenever we want and not feel bad about it. Plus, we're more likely to get our money's worth out of the passes than we would out of a few day passes. We also sprung for season parking because that will pay for itself also within a few visits. It was a bit more than we usually spend in a month but now that we can go there whenever we feel it was a good investment.

So anyway, they have this rollercoaster that is the newest in the park, which translates to the most updated and therefore most like other places with lots of "good" coasters. It's called "Wicked." The very beginning is like a small version of Top Thrill Dragster at CP because it goes up and down the hill at 90 degrees. It's pretty cool. Like I said, it's not CP, but for Utah it's really fun and I enjoy it. I figure that this is all I have so I'm going to make the best of it. Probably the most fun ride I went on all day was called Catapult. It cost 20 bucks (actually 30 because I went twice) but it was so awesome. Basically Chelsea and I got strapped into this little ball-like capsule and got flung 250 feet in the air. The boys were kind of chicken (David said there is not way I'd ever get him to go that high suspended only by cables haha) but Nick and Chris got more nerve after Chelsea and I did it and said they would do it later this summer. I hope so, it's a blast. I hope I can do the giant bungee jump/giant swing thing later this summer. that one costs money too but it's only $15.

Sunday David and I had dinner at the Porter's (my mom's sister's family that lives really close to Lagoon). My Aunt Brenda was working so I didn't see her (I haven't seen her in over 9 years) but my Uncle Rick was there, along with all four of his kids. I am the closest to Celeste (the oldest daughter, she is the same age as me) and so I had seen her a few months earlier. I had also seen Angela and her husband Matt because we had them over for dinner after we moved in. I learned she's expecting (she's 20; they've been married 7 months) and I'm happy for her but extremely jealous. I'm glad she didn't talk about it a lot because I think that would have been really hard for me. I just hope she knows how lucky she is to not have any problems with getting pregnant. Cameron (Cam; the youngest; he's 18) was there and I had seen him a year ago when David and I visited but it was nice to see him again. The big surprise of the night was seeing Ben, Celeste's twin brother. I had not seen Ben since I was 14 and came to visit. He joined the Air Force after high school and eloped last December and that was pretty much all I knew about him (that's the only kind of news that would float all the way to Ohio). I guess his wife, Vanessa, is also in the Air Force and was there before we arrived but had left to go back to Boise (where they are currently stationed) because of work. The reason for their visit was a long Memorial Day weekend. Anyway, it was good to see him but so weird because I felt like I should know him but I didn't. Also there was Celeste's new boyfriend, Derek. He was cool but I was a little bummed to find out that I was THE last person to know about him. Apparently the news had gone all the way to Ohio before it reached Clearfield. I guess I always felt I was closer to Celeste than the rest of my immediate family so I felt pretty shysted to be the last one to know. *sigh* Oh well. Dinner was good and we played with the Wii. I found out Ben is headed back to Iraq this summer so keep him in your prayers along with the rest of our service men and women.

Monday we hung out with Ben and Misty and the kids, then went to Lagoon again for a couple hours. They closed at 7 so we headed to the mall. I got a couple books (one was the second in a series that I was reading and the other was on sale) and David got a new bluetooth that he needed for work. He also bought a case for his blackberry because he needed one that clipped on his belt. I also got a bunch of cards because between David's family, mine, and a few friends, we have six birthdays, four anniversaries, and four fathers/grandfathers (Father's Day). Phew. I got most of them but I still have a few left to get. I really have a good idea for an anniversary card I want to make for my grandparents but I might not be able to pull it off. We'll see. I wanted to send gifts for Father's Day since I did for Mother's Day...but I don't know ifwe can afford it anymore since we had to get David's bluetooth and we sprang for the season passes to Lagoon....ay yi yi. Maybe I can make some things to send...maybe I can make a few more of the cards too. June is going to be a crazy month!

Obviously Very Busy

SO...I'm not mad. Really. Just a little confused.

I know there is a lot going on at home...but at the same time everyone keeps telling me that things are great and that I "wouldn't even know that anything was wrong" if I was home.

IF this is true...is there a good reason that NO ONE in my family would remember my anniversary? If it's not true...I should be more worried about my family.

OK, I can understand if you forget to send a card or whatever...but not even an e-mail or a phone call? I KNOW they couldn't all have forgotten so completely, especially when I posted on here and talked about it on Facebook.

To be fair, I DID get a card from my grandma and grandpa Ridinger and just today I got a card from my aunt Sue and her family. At least I wasn't COMPLETELY forgotten.

Rollercoaster Weekend

I hope I can collect my thoughts enough to make them coherent here. I guess I'll start with Friday. I wasn't feeling as well as I would have liked so I stayed home instead to going to the city. I was feeling better, though, and had Chris drive me to Salt Lake to meet David which was a bit of an adventure in itself because the transmission in Chris's car is starting to freak out and we definitely had to pull over when his gas pedal stopped working on the entrance ramp to I-215. Anyway, he took me to Michael's and I waited only ten or so minutes for David. Then we drove around looking for food and David drove me to the site of the house where he grew up (until he was five and it burned down) which is also next door to the apartment he was born in (his aunt lived there at the time). It was kind of cool to see where he was born and everything, although it was weird and I know it didn't look like it did 26 years ago. As it turns out this house is only a few blocks from where Michael Carey currently lives. (Michael lives in West Valley and the house/apartment are in Taylorsville.) Anyway, after that we settled on KFC and then made our way to the hockey game. Our seats were great except that we were right next to the visiting teams bench so anytime the puck was on the left side of the ice we couldn't see a thing. They had a jumbotron like screen that had the game on it so we could watch but needless to say we moved within a few minutes. Overall it was a fun game although it would have been better if we were rooting for Las Vegas because they were a much better team and ended up winning 5-2. We found out this was a playoff game and that because of our loss, it was the last game of the season for us. They had a trophy ceremony for Las Vegas and everything. Talk about good timing. We got home late and went to bed.

Saturday we weren't in any rush. David was expecting his cold (aren't I nice??) to really kick in but it didn't hit him full force yet and so he said he felt well enough to us to keep our commitment to go to the temple. By the time we got up, dressed, ate, and did a few other things it was about 2 or so. We decided to go to the Jordan River Temple because I had never seen it and since we're so close to so many temples we like to try different ones. My nose was still a little uncooperative but we managed just fine. We got all the names done that my grandma had sent including three sealings to parents, which was nice because they just got some people and did just those three for us instead of having us do a whole session. The names were Hungarian and the sealer was from Germany so he knew how to pronounce the names very well. It was really cool. Anyway, on the way back from the temple we decided to go to dinner and I had been craving this mango chicken salad from Costa Vida, so we went there. Then we decided to go to the movies because we were all feeling pretty good and I had two rainchecks for the local theather that I needed to use (When the Carey's were in town, Kira and I went to see Emma Smith: My Story and the projector was shaky and the music sounded like it was being played through water so I complained; hence the rainchecks) so we all saw Prince Caspian. I liked it a lot and thought it was one of the best sequels I'd ever seen. I think I liked it as much as the first although I think I'm still partial to the first one. David told me when we got home that his throat had started to bother him during the movie.....uh oh.....

So Sunday morning comes, our third anniversary, and David is sick as can be. He's running a fever, sniffling, sneezing, breathing out of his mouth, the works. I am feeling OK but still more like 90%. I decided to stay home to take care of him...plus the fact that going to church alone didn't sound much fun. I got him medicine and made him some macaroni and cheese and we watched a movie in our bedroom together. I read to him a bit and then he went to bed. I went back to the kitchen but found that the more I stood the more exhausted I felt and my nose was still bugging me a bit. I ended up resting on the couch with some tea, trying to keep myself from aggravating this sickness anymore. David came out later and we watched A Knight's Tale. I periodically checked my e-mail also...waiting for the you-know-what to hit the fan because "the response" had been sent. Still no word yet...I wonder how long it will last.

So around 10 or 11 David and I get into bed and read our scriptures. The last few nights my brain has decided that bedtime is prime time to kick into overdrive and last night was no exception. Ideas, worries, scenarios, questions, anything and everything was running through my brain at top speed. Usually this lasts a bit until I get sleepy. Sometimes if I don't get sleepy I'll read and so I decided to do just that. Kira had told me I needed to read this book called Twilight and I had read the first few chapters over the last several days. So I picked it up and started to read. Next thing I knew it was 2am and I just couldn't put it down! I thought "one more chapter" but the time just flew by and I barely even felt a hint of a droopy eyelid. At 3:30 I decided to relocate to the living room because I was keeping David up with my lamp. So I left and I read and I read and I read. I finished the book (450+ pages) by around 8am. Now it's 9:30 and I still haven't slept. David is still sick so he's home from work today. I checked on him a bit ago and put him back in bed. He's sleeping now, poor guy. He should feel better in another day or two I expect. Anyway I suppose I'll crash at some point...but that book was really intense. For those of you who are not familiar, it's about a seventeen-year-old girl who falls in love with a boy at school (also 17) and he turns out to be a vampire. It sounds silly but she makes him so humanlike that you fall in love with them like any well written character. It was such a romantic relationship full of love and true caring....and then there's suspense and drama that makes it impossible to put down. I guess it's the first in a four book series (the fourth book isn't even out yet...I think it comes out in August?). I'm excited to read the rest. I don't think it's my favorite book but it's definitely on the list.

I've decided I really want to try harder to find a job, but it's hard not to be as picky as I want to be. Especially about pay....I'm still praying trying to find something I actually enjoy. I feel like I'm in limbo when it comes to my dad. I wish something would happen so we could deal with it and move on. I hate all this waiting and avoiding.

Slowly Feeling Better

I'm not 100% yet but I can definitely feel a major difference in how I feel. My nose is still stuffy/drippy (not to give too many details) but my throat isn't really sore anymore and my stomach feels much better also. Oh, and my fever is gone, although I've turned the AC up because I am so bleedy hot!! Ugh. It's only 70 or so outside but it feels like an oven in my apartment. After the sun goes down I might shut it off and open some windows. Unfortunately, as much as I love a corner apartment (everyone has one here) it means there are really only windows on two sides. My bedroom and Chris's room have windows that open to the south but all the other windows (all three if you count the sliding glass doors) face west, which sucks when the sun is setting. Cross breezes are pretty much out of the question too, and there are no ceiling fans, joy.

In other news, I am praying that I'll feel better by tomorrow because I got tickets for David and I to go see a Utah Grizzlies game for our anniversary. I got fourth row in the lower section behind the visitors box. For those of you who won't know, the Grizzlies are an ice hockey team, but they're not NHL or anything. I'm sure Jon will correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they're AA or something like that. I suppose it doesn't really matter but they're not pro and they're not college, so they're in between all that. Then again, this is Utah so if you don't play for the Jazz you don't play pro, no matter what sport. Anyway, David really misses going to all the Kent State hockey games so I thought he'd like these. It really if the perfect gift, if I do say so myself. :-) Anyway, because of his job being in Salt Lake and Friday traffic, it looks like I'm going to be in the city all day tomorrow too. Hopefully I won't feel so stuffy! If I'm up to it I'd like to spend the day in the Salt Lake temple. It's one of my favorite places here in Utah and it is so beautiful! I've done several endowment sessions and some sealings but I wouldn't mind doing some initiatories also. I actually haven't done baptisms in ages but those are harder to do if you're an adult. Anyway, I figure it's a peaceful and relaxing way to spend my day and I'd rather do temple work than wander around temple square and see all the sites I've seen before (and just saw again with the Carey's a couple weeks ago). My grandma sent me names that I'd like to get done also, but they're all males. Guess they'll have to wait.

I talked with my Dad today on Instant Messenger. It was weird but we avoided the real topic. It was nice to say hello even if it was just for a few minutes. I told him that I got my ticket to Ohio and that I got david hockey tickets. I also reminded him of some videos I've been waiting for him to dub over to DVD for me. He said he'd try to get them done by the time I come in July, although with his surgery I don't think he'll be doing much work in the next month. I just wish I could tell him how I really feel and make him see how I really feel. I wish seeing that would be enough to make him want to change. Is that too much to ask?

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes, the three or four of you that actually read my babblings.

Being Sick Sucks

I feel awful.....

Anyone have any suggestions of the best way to get rid of a really really sore throat?

My stomach has been nauseated on and off too. I've been in bed for two days and I still feel like crap.

Yuk.

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

First of all, I have been fiddling with the comments feature on this and just now got it back the way I want it. If anyone felt like commenting on my last post....you can now.

Anyway, I have some good news, FINALLY! I bought my ticket to Ohio!! My best friend from high school, Molly, is getting married in July and I'm a bridesmaid. I've been trying to find a ticket for months. With gas prices and things it has been hard, but I found a direct flight for only twenty dollars more expensive than the other flights that have stops. I am leaving for Ohio on Wednesday, July 16th and staying until Wednesday, July 23rd. I am so excited! I will have enough time to hang with my family (well, at least my mom and grandparents, and Jon when he's not in class) and I should be able to catch the Kirtland show also. I will also have time to have a fitting and I won't miss any of the wedding festivities. Plus, having a direct flight means there is a much better chance of my luggage making it to Ohio, I get to spend less time in airports, and I don't have to worry about missing any connections.

Now I just need a low-cost gift and enough money to cover the rest of the bridesmaid dress. Fun fun...

See all you Ohioans in two months!! Whoo Hoo!

The Right Thing

So there is more drama in my family lately, not that this should come as a surprise, especially when I say that this drama is revolving around my father. I don't really want to go into details about what triggered this whole thing (you can read my brother's blog for more info), but it is about way more than this one event. This is just the straw the broke the camel's back. This is about years of problems that have never been properly resolved.

The main reason behind this blog is that I want to try and organize my thoughts. I talked to my mom today about them and she helped me get more perspective. I find myself fairly torn. I have this part of me that says "turn the other cheek" and "forgiveness is the key" because I know that in most cases that would be "taking the high road," but I don't think that this is that clear cut. I do not feel that ignoring this situation would help at all. In fact, it would probably make it worse. Which is where I find myself now. I know that I want to make the right decision, I know that I have to be careful because it is easy to say or do things that I will regret someday, but at the same time I cannot sit back and hope that Dad "gets the message" because he won't. He never has. Dropping hints does not and will not ever work, especially with him. He needs to be told directly, however, Dad has this problem of not listening. If he doesn't agree with what we are saying it just seems to go in one ear and out the other. He puts up this wall and convinces himself that we are wrong without ever putting himself in our position. So I feel stuck because there is nothing I can say to him and yet I cannot just pretend that everything is OK.

Having my family beside me has made everything much better. Knowing they are here and they listen and understand what I'm saying means everything to me. It's nice to know that I am not alone in this. In fact, the "event" that triggered all of this doesn't even affect me as much as it does my mom and Katie and Jon...what affects me the most is what my dad is doing to his relationship with us and having to watch people that I love go through such a difficult thing, knowing that there is nothing I can do to help. Sometimes it feels like Dad doesn't see how hard we are working to take care of ourselves. He sees Andy and I working our way up and taking care of spouses as well but then he compares us to Jon and Katie and expects them to be in the same boat without factoring in things like age, marital circumstances (I certainly wouldn't be where I am if I wan't married--David's income has always been crucial to me not relying on my parents), and other things, like the fact that all my siblings served missions. He doesn't seem to realize that Katie and Jon are working as hard as they can to make a good life for themselves so they can move away from Mom and Dad and focus on building their future. No one should judge them, especially Dad, because they're not where HE thinks they should be.

Anyway, I love my dad. He has done a lot that means a lot to me. He came to my wedding, my graduations, my plays and concerts, he was around more than some people's dads. We got date nights, he used his frequent flyer miles to get me my first plane ride...I know that he loves me and I know he loves my brothers and sister, and yet he doesn't see how this all connects. He doesn't understand how his actions and decisions affect the rest of us and what those actions say about him and how he really feels about us. He doesn't understand that when you pick something else over your kids that that says something about you and about how you view your children and your relationship with them. That's why all of this hurts so much, why I'm so confused, because I want to keep loving him and I want things to get better. I want our relationship to be good so that I can see how much he loves me. I don't want to cut him off and lose what little bit of a father I have left, as much as it sometimes feels like that's all I can do anymore. I want to be a good example to him because I want him to figure out one day that despite what he's done in the past, he can change. He can make things better if he wants to. I want to get through to him but I don't know how. There is nothing that I can say or do that will change his mind. I want to tell him what I really think but I want him to know that I still love him and that this hurts because I still want him in my life...just not the way he is right now.

Is there a right answer?