So is Life

This economy is really starting to piss me off. While I am enjoying the gas prices ($1.87 at the Maverik on the corner by my apartment) that's just about all the positive I am seeing. Per my last blog, David and I have both been looking for jobs--any jobs. Part time, full time, ANYTHING. Like I said before, though, as soon as you say "by the way, we will be gone the week before and after Christmas," they say "So long!" At the time, getting those tickets was perfect. I wasn't working, so that wasn't an issue, and David's current boss (Dave at NXS) had approved said vacation. We got a great price, too ($100 cheaper than any ticket I had seen so far), which is amazing for that time of year. Having been away for almost a year (minus my week stint in July for Molly's wedding) having two whole weeks with my family was (and still is) a dream come true. We don't miss my brother or sister's birthday, cookie day, or even New Years. It was...well, perfect. But now? As much as I'm looking forward to it, it's become such a huge burden. I didn't realize it would be such a sacrifice to spend the holidays in Ohio, which is where my heart would be anyway. I suppose it will be slightly easier once we get back.

As far as my job goes, I'm really not worried about it right now. I have sat down with my boss and had very honest conversations about the basic (never detailed) financial situation within the company as well as in my family. My boss has said that it would be easier to let me go first because of my pay situation with OfficeTeam, but he has also said that it is a last resort for him because I do so much here. Without me he'd have to hire someone else anyway and he knows finding someone who could do what I do as well as I do it will be more than difficult. He's been having lots of trust issues with other employees but has never had them with me and therefore holds me in higher regard. I have told him flat out, I could be working for more but I really like this job. I said I would stay as long as he can assure me that I would not lose my job. He said it was nothing to worry about and he would take many other measures before it came to that. He is guessing that based on the past and how things have worked, things will start looking up after a few months. By that time he can pay off the OfficeTeam fee (especially with the money he is saving by me working part time and missing two weeks over the holidays) and then afford to even give me a raise when I move back to full time. He has always shown me to be an honest man with integrity and I trust him when we tells me this stuff. Also, we have a new accountant, Caleb, and he is already finding ways to save money and increase the profit of the company. While we are struggling now, as a company, I think the new year will turn a lot of things around. I also feel I have made myself valuable enough that I don't have to worry about my job. While I am looking for another part time job (which I will probably not get for another month or more), I intend to stay with Great Dane. If I do land a PT job sometime, I will probably keep it even after I'm FT again here because I get off at 3:00 (when I'm FT) and would have the time for an evening job, plus, I want to build up our savings so this kind of thing isn't such a crisis if it happens again.

Having Chris and Amber living with us doesn't really bother me most of the time. A lot of people are asking about Ben and Misty and why Chris and Amber aren't living with THEM. Well, there are many reasons. First one being, we offered. I think Ben and Misty would have offered as well, had they had the opportunity, but I think we all knew that it would just add much more stress to both couples. Ben and Misty are wonderful, loving, generous people, but they have a family, and they are busy. Misty was raised in a way that makes her a wonderful hostess, but if the guests are long-term, it is difficult because she feels she has to be that wonderful hostess every single day, and it stresses her out. Think what you will about how she should be, but I've seen her handle her three kids, and she is expecting their fourth, and if I can offer my home and spare her the drama, I will. She's my best (female) friend nowadays and I would do anything to help her. That being said, she was a little upset that she wasn't asked, but in the end I think she is grateful that she doesn't have that extra responsibility. Besides that, the space that Chris and Amber would have had at Ben and Misty's is about the same they have with us. The bedroom they are in is about the same size as the guest room at Ben and Misty's. The bathroom at Ben and Misty's, however, is tiny compared to ours (ours is about twice as big, maybe a tad more than that even). There is another guest room at Ben and Misty's, but it is much MUCH smaller and only has space for a twin bed. The other room in their basement is a play room for the kids. While they could turn that into another bedroom (it used to be), there is an air hockey table and bunk beds in that room that there isn't another place for. On top of that, the one guest room is completely filled with storage and Christmas presents currently, that also have no other place to go, so it would be a much bigger task for them to make space for Chris and Amber. On the flip side, mine and David's guest room had furniture that was empty and no much of anything else. The only thing that we had in that room was food storage, which is still taking up most of the closet. We also have our third bedroom (the office), which has nothing in it but out desktop computer and my sewing machine. We have plenty of room for their storage (which includes their bed and many boxes of bathroom and kitchen stuff mostly) and we don't really have to move much around. We had an elliptical machine in there that we were storing for Ben and Misty but they are taking it back (who knows where they have room for it). Another reason was financial. Charging Chris and Amber rent helps us a great deal, while Ben and Misty charging rent really doesn't make a difference to them. While we aren't charging right now (we will after they break their lease), once we are getting that extra money, it really will help us. Most of our bills will stay the same, but having that extra to cover food and take the edge off rent and things will really be an answer to prayer. Another reason they are with us is that when I heard them telling us about their problems, I felt very strongly that we had been prepared for such a change. I offered our home to them before I had really realized I was going to, and I have not regretted it. It is difficult at times, but I think that all of us are benefiting. I am learning a lot about myself and my ability to be compassionate. I'm learning about my capacity for pain as well as love. Having Chris in my home after everything that happened is difficult and sometimes painful. Watching Amber go through pregnancy right before my eyes is heart breaking, but the Lord never was one to go easy on me, and if this is his way of helping me grow and cope, than that is OK with me. A couple weeks before this all started, David gave me a blessing (for something completely unrelated) and in it the Lord told me to prepare for changes that were soon coming to my home. I didn't expect this, but after much prayer I think this is what he meant. There is a reason for all this.

In other news, I think I am catching a cold. I wake up every day with a sore throat, and while it fades through the day, it never completely goes away. I feel extra tired a lot and go through times when my head feels really warm but my hands and feet are freezing. Of course, it could also be the crazy weather we're having. Yesterday I came to work in winter hat, coat, gloves, and a fleece pullover and by mid afternoon I had changed into a 3/4 sleeve button down and was fine without a coat. My aunt Brenda came up yesterday as well and we went to Wal-mart. I had to grab a few things and she wanted some help getting stuff for the female family craft that we are doing over Thanksgiving (since we aren't going to Washington (for financial reasons) we are spending half of Thanksgiving with Ben and Misty and half with the Porters). We bought empty wreaths, ribbons, bells, and things like that. It will be fun. I think I'm going to make mine silver and red, to represent the scarlet and gray of Ohio State (GO BUCKS! MICHIGAN SUCKS!). [Side Note: I make daily bank drops at Wells Fargo for work and there is this guy in the North Layton Branch (where I usually go) who saw me in my OSU hoodie one day and told me he was a HUGE Michigan fan (in a family of OSU fans, mind you). So ever since then we always raz each other (he's so cool) and I made a bet with him over this weekends' game. Loser has to wear the winner's colors on Monday...he said he didn't know if he could take the bet. He knows Michigan sucks, hahaha. Anyway, I can't wait to wear my OSU jersey to the bank on Monday. It's funny because the BYU/UT game is on the same day so that's all anyone is talking about. Well, except us.] Anyway, then we went to Marie Callender's and had a nice lunch/dinner. It was fun, we had good conversation and talked about our respective families. Angie is ready to have her baby (I think she has 2-3 weeks left) and Celeste has strep throat. Ben and Vanessa are working towards the temple, so they are really excited for them. Cam is still preparing for the mish, obviously.

OK, well I better go, this has been long enough. Thanks for taking the time to read. :)