All of a sudden I'm realizing all I still have to do before we leave. I have a few present projects to finish, I need to pack, clean our apartment, and be ready for our last Scout activity of the year (pack meeting the night before we leave!) Also, we've been having some problems with software at work so I'm behind and need to catch up and prep Caleb for my absence, as he will be taking over many of my responsibilities while I'm gone. This wouldn't be so hard except I'm only working 18 hours total next week...maybe I can stay late one or more days since I could use the extra time. It seemed like the time was going so slow and now even though I can't wait, it feels like I will BARELY be finished in time. As David mentioned in the last post, it doesn't feel like Christmas here. Maybe it's the lack of snow, maybe I've just been too worried and busy...I listen to Christmas music at work every day but it doesn't really help. The only time I feel that old familiar Christmas feeling is when I'm imaging our time in Ohio and how much fun it will be.
In other news, I'm thinking about quitting the stake play, Aladdin. I've had a lot of complaints about it and my director is driving me insane, but I'm not sure if I want to actually quit because I love being on stage and I've come so far...after our trip there would only be 4-5 weeks of rehearsals left anyway (2 rehearsals a week). Basically, I've noticed that my theater experience puts me in a more advanced category than most of the cast and crew. Also, I tend to take the show more seriously, at least in my own mind, and my standards for professionalism basically leave me standing alone. I've tried to relax, and early on I did have lots of fun, but I never really connected to any cast or crew members; I never found anyone who I could just be myself around. Rehearsals started annoying me more than anything because I spend 2/3 of each one, maybe more, sitting around. I would watch my director run a scene 4 or 5 times in a row, but when my scene came up, we did it once, twice if she wanted to change something. Maybe that was a compliment; I needed less work, but I felt like my time was being wasted. I hated that the days she picked for rehearsals sucked. First, Wednesdays from 6-9. I have scouts on Wednesdays from 6-7, so I missed the first hour EVERY WEEK. From what I heard from the other narrator, she would spend more time working my scenes BEFORE I arrived than after. What a waste! Then, Saturdays. At first they were Saturday mornings. OK, fine, whatever. However that changed to Saturday 1:30-4:30. LAME! How can I ever make plans for a Saturday if I have to go to (horribly lame and time wasting) rehearsals SMACK in the middle of the day!?! It's not like I can plan things for before or after rehearsal, unless they're really short things. Going to the temple has only been made possible for two reasons: 1) I didn't have to go to every rehearsal and 2) This is Utah, temples are so close in any direction, and large enough that you don't need an appointment, we could go on a weeknight, last minute if we needed. Anyway, I also didn't think the schedules were very clear. She would give us paper schedules at rehearsal for only the next two weeks. This was fine if you were one of the people who was needed at the last rehearsal on that schedule, because she would hand out new schedules at that rehearsal. This is where the problems really started. I was not needed at the final rehearsal on a certain schedule, therefore did not know if I needed to be at the NEXT rehearsal. No one called me but I thought I'd be safe and go anyway. I got there and the place was deserted. Gee, thanks for the heads up. Because of that, I figured they would call, so I missed the next rehearsal as well. Then I thought I was probably needed, so I went to the next one, sat around for a long time, did 5 minutes of stage time, and left. Having not known they were there, I did not pick up a new schedule and the loop continued. So I e-mail my director and I say "Hey, could you possibly e-mail the schedule as well as hand it out?" thinking this was a simple request (the schedules were always typed, so it was simply a matter of attaching a file). She writes me back and says "I would do that but not everyone has email access, and this way, both the child and the parent have a hard copy. I have them in plenty of time for the next month, and I announce that I have schedules, it is just up to the person to pick one up before they leave. Sorry if it has been a problem. Come to practice on Saturday at 1:30 and you can have another one if needed. " So...what you're saying is that you're too lazy to do both?? I asked her if she could do both and she told me that she's "really busy as a wife and mother" but since I'm the only one to bring it up, she has to ask the cast first...???? Seriously!?!? Give me a break!
SO...needless to say I'm not impressed with my "director"...(I use quotes because I've worked with directors before and she doesn't seem to know what that all entails)... OK, well, I missed the next rehearsal because I totally zoned and forgot I had it. She e-mails me the following day and says "I noticed you weren't at rehearsal" but then basically acts like I'm super mad at her (???) and says that if I miss the next rehearsal she's going to assume I quit the play. Say WHAT? So I e-mail her back, explaining why I missed and all seems OK, but next rehearsal I walk in (late, because it's Wednesday) and there is SOMEONE ELSE doing my part. My director says "Oh, well I have to plan just in case, so she's learning your part".....uh huh....Well I'm like, whatever, as long and I'm here, I'm doing my part and you can do what you want the ONE hour a week that I'm not here. However she then spends a lot of time working on MY songs, with HER. WHAT?? She won't even work on them with me. So anyway, I'm irked but I keep coming. Well this last week I get an e-mail from my director and it's the last straw. She says "you're coming really late every practice and I heard you're bringing the cast down with your negative attitude so you need to shape up or resign" (I'm paraphrasing, of course). First of all, I'm NEVER late, unless you count my calling. Second of all, I don't talk to people in the cast, to be honest, so how can I be bringing them down? I do my part and then I read because the play is boring to watch. Also, this guy who plays the Genie is pretty funny, but he basically goes WAY overboard until he kills all the humor. She gets upset with other people try to change lines, but she lets him completely disregard the script. I'm not even kidding. When people stand in for Aladdin or something, they can't follow along because he just does his own thing. So I wrote her back and told her what I was seeing (hypocracy, favoritism) and that I was quitting. She writes back and says "I don't believe in favoritism" but that she's OK with any decision I make...riiight. I don't know what I want to do. I'm seriously annoyed because the play is WAY cheezy, and she DOES play favorites in who can change their lines and things, and I don't agree with her decisions about what to keep and what not to keep and therefore I see a play that she thinks is funny but I don't think it's that funny at all. I don't even feel like I have the freedom that a narrator role is supposed to entail...I have to be some cookie cutter narrator. EH....
So now that everyone knows about my show and how I feel about it...is it worth it to stay in? At what point does committment and things trump a bad experience? It reminds me of seminary my senior year when people kept telling me that it was a spiritual experience but Brother Robison treated me in such a way that the spirit wasn't there and I wasn't learning from his classes. If I'm not having the "spiritual experience" that a stake activity is supposed to have, is it better to just back out and find something that WILL let me feel that way? Bah...I don't know what I want to do...
Sorry for ranting.....I can't wait to just go to Ohio and forget all about this Utah drama...
4 comments:
If it's no fun, don't play. No use wasting your time and getting all angry over something that doesn't matter. It's a volunteer play, not a calling.
Yeah, I'm kind of leaning that way...
I'd quit...sounds WAY worse than the Kirtland play could be and you KNOW how amateur that could be sometimes and Polly had actual theater experience AND we had connections with the cast. And like Andy said, it's not a calling, so if it isn't fun, why get yourself all worked up about something that doesn't matter?
While I don't know your director, she sounds like a real UTARD. Did you tell her you'll send her a postcard from EARTH when you go back home to it next week? >:D
I agree with Andy.
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